Farewell, Shadows.

So, this video was created by a friend of mine.  He is a cinematographer and film editor.  He and his wife came to spend the weekend with us when Clara was only a couple of weeks old.  He spent most of the time with a camera in his hand.  About a month after the visit, this is what was produced:

I wanted to share this, even though it is from some time ago.  I thought that since this blog is still in it’s initial stages, I could reveal just a little more about myself.  If there is anything to know about me, it’s this: my daughter is the inspiration for most of my work.  It isn’t that she is the only thing I write about; it’s that she causes something deep in my core to begin to resonate. I became irrevocably convinced of the existence of God on the day she was born.  My best friend said something that I will probably not forget on the evening she entered the world:

“When I held her in my arms, I felt the universe shift around me.  I never want to do evil again.  I want to undo all of the evil I’ve ever done.”

I believe that God speaks to us all.  I believe that God fiercely desires us and fiercely loves us.  I think we often forget this, or never learn it in the first place, because there is much suffering in the world.  The suffering distracts us, and we become lost in shadow.  We try to find our own way out of the darkness, but because we as humans are so limited we inevitably trek deeper into the gloom.  Because of this, our Father places things and people into our lives that are singularly purposed to remind us of Him. They are glimpses of light in a dark world; they are beacons meant to lead us away from darkness, to guide us back home.  Typically these are those things that move us beyond our capacity to name or fully comprehend the feelings they stir. Once we begin to respond to and follow these signals, we begin to see that God is in everything, and the world becomes much less dark.  For me, this is where art comes from: seeing what the light of Heaven is illuminating.

The day my daughter was born was the day I realized God wanted my attention.  This was the first time in my life, I think, that I “truly” began to write. I tried to write before, to create music, to draw, but I always did it selfishly.  I wanted people to be amazed at my profound abilities. I wrote about what I thought people would think was “deep.” I wanted to be recognized for being talented. I was trying to find my own way out of the shadows.

Then, God revealed to me what it actually means to create.  When I held my daughter for the first time, and as I got to know her for the first few weeks of her life, God began to open up entire cosmos in my soul. Every time I looked at her, I felt spiritual atoms splitting. The inspiration to write, for me, comes from God revealing his presence in small, but confounding, ways. Through my daughter I get glimpses of Heaven, and I get to experience a fraction of the love that my creator has for me. When I experience these moments, I write.

“Literature adds to reality; it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides, and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.”  -C.S. Lewis

Enjoy the video.  The music was written and recorded by some very good friends of mine, Blackbird Cathedral.



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